I hope you bought her flowers.

Some things are just a given.  For example, in the animal kingdom, most of us know that it would be twelve shades of stupid to get between a mother and its spawn.  Sure that little bear cub wandering around the camp ground looks cute, but if Mama catches you anywhere near that cub you won’t have to “play” dead.

The only way out of the tent is through the bear’s butt after it eats you and poops you out.

Human mothers are less, uh, savage, but still very protective of their children.  They protect their kids from strangers, the evils on television, and even their father after Junior decided it would be a great idea to scribble all over the walls in permanent marker.  I think we’ve all been there – we do something stupid and Mom is there to protect us, make us feel safe, tell us it’s going to be okay and to just ignore your Father’s shouting and Oh Bill stop it you’re over reacting we were going to repaper the walls anyway he didn’t know any better he’s been eating the paste again.

Uh, we’ve all been there… right?  Right?

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

Bringing this around to World of Warcraft and Death Knights, your Mom protected you.  Kept you safe.  Just like a tank in World of Warcraft. Your Mom tanked your Dad, and all the other things in the World.  Tanked them just like a Blood Death Knight.

You might be thinking that this was a bit of a stretch, some pandering for the Mother’s Day holiday.  To that I say shut up and go thank your Mother for bringing you into the World in the first place.  And if you’re reading this and you’re a Mom… ‘sup.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A Death Knight’s work is never done.

While I was trolling for blog fodder casually browsing the Internet, I came across an article ironically entitled Ten Ways to Boost Daily Productivity.  Despite the time I spend in front of the computer staring at Youtube or playing vidja games, I do like to be productive.  But as I read the article, two things became obvious right away.  The first was that none of the information I was reading was any kind of great revelation to me.  The second thing was that I kept referring everything I read back to World of Warcraft in some way, which sadly said a little too much about my state of mental well-being, or lack thereof.

So, being the sucker for punishment helpful soul that I am, I listed the Ten Ways to Boost Daily Productivity below to help you with your productivity in day to day life.  If that wasn’t enough, I then unleashed the Big Reveal – how these very same techniques can help you make the most of your World of Warcraft experience!

You’re welcome, Internet.  You’re welcome.

1) Listing.  It all beings with listing.  If you don’t have a list, create one.  If you have a rough list from the night before, the first thing to do when you sit at your desk is to sharpen the list, adding any last minute items.

• How it fits in WoW – For the people who say there is nothing to do in World of Warcraft, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will throat punch you.  Allow me to crawl into your headplace and rewire a thought or two.  It’s not that there isn’t anything to do in WoW.  It’s that there is too damn much to do, and you are either in quantity overload or they are things that just don’t interest you.  All I can say about that is either give something new a try, or go back to raiding/PVP/knitting your one night a week and stop bitching.  But for the other few millions of players who tap this game daily, take heart as I cyber-pat you on the head and give you a sympathetic “there there, grasshopper.” It is easy to get overwhelmed by the heaping pile of stuff to do, especially if you want to have any kind of life outside the game (which I hope you do) and are online for only a limited time period (which you should be).  There’s so much to do, so much you can do, that a list will help make the most of your game time.

2) Worst First.  We often have one item on the list that is hanging over our head and just doesn’t seem like it will get taken care of.  Step up to the plate and knock this out.  The rest of the day is downhill from there.

•  How it fits in WoW – Okay, take a breath because I’m going to say one word.  Dailies.  Calm down.  Breathe in through your nose, out through the mouth.  Better?  Rep grinds.  Now now, breathe again.  Feel better?  Good.  I know people have developed eye twitches and neck spasms at the mere mention of those words, but dammit these are things that have to get done.  Necessary evils, no matter how much you bitch about them.  Get those collective pains in the ass done first, so you can chill out and enjoy the rest of your game time without that blue exclamation point hanging over your own head.

3) Just Do It.  Just do those small items to help you feel more productive.  They are quick and often very easy.  Complete and get the big marker out to cross them off the list.

•  How it fits in WoW – There are a few quick things you can do in WoW.  They take a couple of minutes, and can turn out to be very beneficial for you.   Hit your farm and harvest your crops for either the rep quests, motes of Harmony, or any other goodies you planted.  Also, most professions have daily cooldowns, and it’s usually just a matter of getting the mats and pushing a button.  Quick, easy, and sometimes a good money maker.  I will take the high road and not make a “like your mom” joke here.  Wait, I guess I kinda just did.  Damn.

4) Make Things Enjoyable.  Reward yourself with occasional breaks, music you enjoy, or even a snack.  Life is short.  Enjoy your work.

•  How it fits in WoW – I think most of us crank the tunes or podcasts when we’re doing dailies, or whatever online chores we have set up for ourselves.  When dealing with the more mindless ones, even watching a movie on another screen can help pass the time, as well as getting some “must see” viewing done.  Just don’t let your porno movie distract you from finishing your WoW chores.

Keep you eyes on the prize.

5) Peak Times.  Identify the time you know are most productive (3pm coffee hour?) and set aside some tasks for that time.  When this time rolls around, close your cubicle door so that it is just you and your work.

•  How it fits in WoW – It’s not so much “peak time” as it is “available time”.  Most folks only have a handful of free time for gaming.  Early risers will sneak an hour in before the y leave for work or school.  Some have a couple of hours after dinner, or homework, or once the kids are in bed.  For the sake of your sanity, not to mention any relationship you are involved in, make sure there’s a balance between game time and real time.  And stick to the time cap – if you set aside an hour to WoW it up, don’t stretch it into two.  That’s what this productivity thing is for.  Also, for the sake of those who don’t wish to constantly be the victim of stereotyping, if time needs to be cut, cut from game time not real time.

6) Pareto (80/20).  Use it to your advantage.  Find the items/clients/projects which are most significant and are requiring little time.  Devote more time to those items.

•  How it fits in WoW – Put your hand down, and close that other browser tab. To answer your question, Pareto states that “for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes”. Basically, giving you the most bang for your buck. MoP has been good with stacking dailies and rep grinds, allowing you to get valor/gold/rep all at once.  Decide what you want to do that will produce the most results, and make that your focus.

7) Batching.  Cluster your emailing sessions and your phone call sessions.  Sort for 3-4 batches a day.  This will help keep short emails and phone calls from distracting you whilst you work on your pareto items.

•  How it fits in WoW – Take the garbage out.  Clean the dishes.  Make sure your homework is done, or that the kids are not just in bed, but in the right bed.  Do these potentially distracting things before your game time so your Husband/Wife/Mom/Prison Guard doesn’t kick down your door while you’re halfway through your dailies  and tell you to grab your toothbrush ‘cause Bubba done shat himself in the shower again.

Damn it Bubba.

8) Specialize.  Focus on one single task at a time.  Distractions and multitasking eat up your time.  Consistently completing and crossing off tasks is encouraging and satisfying.

•  How it fits in WoW – Don’t be that guy.  You know, the guy who flies around looking for mining nodes, sees a pet he could battle, and when he lands and starts battling he remembers he didn’t revive his pets from a battle the other day.  So he retreats from the battle, revives his pets, but is attacked by someone from the opposite faction.  Because he didn’t repair his gear after the raid the other night, he gets his lunch handed to him through a straw.  He then has to go find a repair vendor, and as he’s flying back to town he see the mining node he’d been looking for in the first place.  This kind of thing happens all the time.  Doesn’t mean it’s a very smart way to play.  Just writing that out almost gave me a seizure.  I had to stop to wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth.  Focus.  Bottom Line – Don’t’ be that guy.

9) Optimize and Reflect.  As you get to the end of the day, think back on the day, identify your peak times, the most wasteful tasks and seek to keep from repeating those tasks tomorrow.  Might you have been able to more efficiently complete a task?  Taking the time to make a mental note of what you can do better the next time will put you on the road to continuous improvement.

•  How it fits in WoW – What did you get done today?  Could you have grouped things differently to get more done?  If there are still items on your checklist, why did they not get done?  Are you lazy, is that what this is?  Did you just not want it bad enough?  What the Hell is wrong with you?  I thought you were hardcore, dude.  I thought you were cool.

10) Re-list.  At times you will not complete everything you had on your list.  This is okay, add them to tomorrow’s list with a star so that they do not get rolled over a second day.  By the days end you will have a rough idea of items you need to do tomorrow.  Go ahead and list them.  Tomorrow when you start fresh, you will be less likely to have missed any.

• How it fits in WoW – If I have to do one more daily, I’m going to rage-hump my keyboard to death.  If that idea is lodged in your brain pan, maybe you might want to skip doing dailies tomorrow and instead knock off some pet battles.  If you spend the time gathering mats, maybe tomorrow you should focus on your crafting professions.  Write all the changes down, and get ready for another uber-efficient gaming session.

If you’re going to play World of Warcraft, you might as well get the most out of your fifteen bucks when you log in.

May 5th, 2013.

People want to celebrate today, for no other reason than they feel that it’s “Okay” to do it.  It’s Mexican New Year, or it’s the victory of some battle.  Most people don’t know, and don’t care.  All they know is that it’s socially acceptable to get pissed up today, tip back Coronas with lime, and celebrate like it means something.

But does it?

I try to be an “up” guy.  I really do.  I’ve had people tell me they’re surprised at how positive I am, considering the things that are – and have been – going on in my life over the past few months.  It helped that I had things to look forward to.  One of which was the anticipation of Blizzcon 2013 tickets.

Unfortunately, I met a lovely lady.  I say unfortunately because it now looks like this lovely lady will be stepping out of my life.  She’s great, and I’m happy for the experience in meeting her.  On a selfish level, though, when I was with her I missed out on both opportunities to buy Blizzcon tickets.

Now I have lost out twice.  No girl.  No tickets.

I honestly don’t know what to think about Fate.  Is there some power guiding our lives, or do these things just happen?  I doubt there’s some omnipotent puppet master out there, but I can’t help but look at the situation and think “does this mean something?”  The past two times I went to Blizzcon, I had training the day after I got home so I never had the chance to fully enjoy it.  That wouldn’t be an issue this year, and now I’m not going.

Well, not going yet.

Like I said, I don’t think there’s some Guiding Hand out there, steering us like a child playing with a toy boat in a puddle.  But I do think that we need to see opportunities that are presented to us, and decide right then and there what the next step should be.  There isn’t anyone or anything that pushes us through the door.  But we have to be able to see when that door is opened, and decide whether we’re going to step through or close it.

Today, I won’t be celebrating any more than I do on any other day.  But I will be enjoying my day.  Every day brings opportunities, and I’m excited to see what the next one will be.

World of Warcraft is fun.  Dailies, raiding, all entertaining stuff.  But it’s Real Life that provides true adventure.

Anyone seen my chill pills?

I’ve always been a fan of the Fury warrior.  Not so much for the play style, but more for what it represents as an ideal.  A Protection warrior is a guy who uses a sword and shield to defend himself, and those around him in a party and raid setting.  You’ve got the Arms warrior who can take a two handed weapon and kill with his superior weapon proficiency.  Nobody uses a weapon as effectively as it is in the hands an Arms warrior.

Then you’ve got the Fury warrior.  This is a dude who will grab two very large, very heavy things and beat the life out of you with them.  He doesn’t even care what is is he’s using as a weapon – swords, clubs, circus midgets, ponies.  Even the torsos from the last two things he killed.  A Fury warrior is a nuclear reactor of anger and rage, and the only way he can keep it from burning him alive is by venting his anger on the head and shoulders of anything stupid enough to get in front of him.

That’s a mindset I can embrace.  My therapist would disagree, but I offered to pull his tongue out for him if he kept flapping it.

MMO Melting Pot gave a quick and dirty breakdown on the Fury warrior in Patch 5.2 (HERE). Noxxic and Icy Veins also weighed in on the changes to the Fury Warrior in Patch 5.2 (HERE and HERE).  Torage, the quintessential Fury warrior released a video on the Fury warrior in the 5.2 era.  It is naturally worth a look.  Do so NAOW!

Find more of his awesome vids over on his Youtube channel located somewhere in the vicinity of HERE.

The very idea of Pet Battles should be in violation of some kind of legislation.  I mean, you’re taking these cute little vanity pets and you make them fight each other to the death.  These little Butterflies and Pugs have spent entire expansions as eye candy, and now they’re expected to throw down like some kind of arena gladiator.  It’s like putting two kittens in a cage and making them duke it out.

I will end you!

… okay, maybe I don’t really want this outlawed.  I guess I just need to be saved from myself.  I mean, Pet Battles might not break any kind of real legal laws, but they do seem to oppose the very laws of time and space.  Specifically, time.  I’ve seen this phenomenon with my own eyes – you sit down to fire off “just a couple of Pet Battles”, and suddenly three hours have disappeared faster than Lindsay Lohan’s jail time.  What the what?  Where the good goddamn did that time go?

I managed to kick the vanity violence habit once.  But last week I just happened to come across a few websites (like this and this and this and this) that discussed Pet Battle teams.  One of them involved my favorite pet, the Clockwork Gnome (I call him Jeeves, naturally).  Reading the posts reminded me how much fun he was to use.  So much fun, in fact, that I decided to use him to powerlevel a couple of low level pets.  No biggie, right?  I’ll only use him for a little bit.  Just a couple of lousy pets.  Nothing excessive.

Sure.  Right.  The “Just the tip” mentality.  It NEVER works.

Leveling a couple of pets led to checking the Achievements for Pet Battles.  Once I saw I was actually close to completing a couple of them, I decided that I might as well finish those off, pick up a couple of easy achievement points and call it a day.  That led to trying to collect all the pets in the zone, which led to trying to get the achievement for number of unique pets caught (which awarded a Celestial Dragon).  THEN I decided that, since I now had a few high level pets, maybe I’d challenge the trainers and finish off the quests for trainer battles on Kalimdor.  After THAT, I might as well run over the trainers in the Eastern Kingdom too!

Next thing I knew, a week had disappeared.  Crops had been neglected.  The mailbox was full of unsold Auction House items. Dailies remained undone.  Cooldowns, unused.

I had to step away, despite the floating exclamation point dangling in front of my face that dared me to lay the smack down on the Outland trainers.  The pets went back into their Poke-balls, and I went back to my crops.

But not for long.

While flying around Pandaria, I decided to check out the Black Market Auction House.  I hadn’t been there in ages and wanted to see what was on sale.  Lo and behold, a few useless trinkets and a fistful of blood soaked invitations to the Brawler’s Guild.  I remembered the Auction House PVP battle I fought on my Alliance DK to try and get one of those when they first came out.  I won in the end, but it cost me.  So when I saw all these invites and no one bidding on them, I decided to throw a bid down and see if I could win one for my Horde DK.  I did, but when I tried to click it nothing happened.  That’s when I noticed the fine print on the invite – one invite was good for every character on the account.

Son of a bitch.

Well what the Hell, I thought to myself.  Since I can get in, I might as well pop into the Horde arena for the Brawler’s Guild.  It was right beside the Auction House I was using in Orgrimmar anyway, so it wasn’t putting me out at all.  The place looked violent, which is the kind of decor I can get behind.  It also looked pretty empty.  My Orc had better gear than my Alliance DK, and was specced to raise Hell.  Why not try a fight and see how it went?

I fought, and won.

Huzzah.

There, I thought as I dusted myself off.  I’ve fought in the Brawler’s Guild and justified paying for the Horde invite.  But before I left, I thought I’d just take a peek at the vendor to see what he was carrying.  I knew at the higher Brawler’s Guild ranks you could purchase heirloom items.  Curiosity prompted me to see how far I’d have to get if I wanted more heirlooms.

That’s when I saw it.  Saw Him.

Clock’em.  You glorious bastard you.

In Brawler’s Guild, Clock punches You.

He was available at Rank Four.  He wasn’t as good as my Clockwork Gnome, but he had spiked boxing gloves.  My Pet Battle jones started itching again.  To scratch that itch, I was going to have to step back into the Brawl’gar Arena and get punched in the face.  Hard and often.  Just to buy another damn Battle Pet.  This time, my Pet Battle addiction was going to be the death of me.

Repeatedly.